People Change...
1. When they hurt enough that they have to
2. When they learn enough that they want to
1. When they hurt enough that they have to
2. When they learn enough that they want to
3. When they receive enough that they are able to
Bad bad day
Everything was great so far till around 9PM. While I was walking from Guadalupe to Boni (I didn't ride the bus because it doesn't make sense and I needed the exercise) I was held up. Lost my phones but fortunately, my wallet was spared. I have a month old Sony Ericson P1 for my globe, and 2 Nokia phones for both my sun and may PLDT wireless landline. I was heading home and rather than taking the bus, I decided to walk at least it will be an exercise for me.
I had a hunch that something is wrong. I thought someone wanted to pick my pocket and hold up didn't crossed my mind. After the Guadalupe bridge, someone approached me from the back and when I turn around, they were asking me to give up my stuff. I tried fighting but they had a knife. I think I can take both of them down but my phones are not worth my life.
It was frustrating because...
1. I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner but she cancelled so I opt to go home much later... (not blaming anyone but the outcome might be different)
2. I wanted to save 9 pesos because it takes me less than 20 seconds to go from Guadalupe to Boni and I was thinking that I needed some exercise so I preferred walking than riding the bus.
3. I had a hunch and for those who know me, you know that I do have a strong instinct. The problem was that I didn't anticipated robbery... All the while I was thinking someone will pick my pocket.
4. There were security guards just around the corner. 5 more steps and they would have heard me. The traffic masked my shouting for help.
5. It frustrates me because I am a few bucks short of fixing my car... ok maybe a few thousands but still the fixing is in progress.
I had a hunch that something is wrong. I thought someone wanted to pick my pocket and hold up didn't crossed my mind. After the Guadalupe bridge, someone approached me from the back and when I turn around, they were asking me to give up my stuff. I tried fighting but they had a knife. I think I can take both of them down but my phones are not worth my life.
It was frustrating because...
1. I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner but she cancelled so I opt to go home much later... (not blaming anyone but the outcome might be different)
2. I wanted to save 9 pesos because it takes me less than 20 seconds to go from Guadalupe to Boni and I was thinking that I needed some exercise so I preferred walking than riding the bus.
3. I had a hunch and for those who know me, you know that I do have a strong instinct. The problem was that I didn't anticipated robbery... All the while I was thinking someone will pick my pocket.
4. There were security guards just around the corner. 5 more steps and they would have heard me. The traffic masked my shouting for help.
5. It frustrates me because I am a few bucks short of fixing my car... ok maybe a few thousands but still the fixing is in progress.
Another Poem
As I try to live my life as normal as I can
I am being haunted by what is inside
I kept thinking about now and then
all I wanted was just to hide
The night doesn't seem to be calm
The sun doesn't seem to be warm
I don't know where is this from
maybe I long to be in your arms
Sadness fills me with nothing but sorrows
emptiness robs me of peace of mind
How I wish a smile I can borrow
Maybe a life of a different kind
I am being haunted by what is inside
I kept thinking about now and then
all I wanted was just to hide
The night doesn't seem to be calm
The sun doesn't seem to be warm
I don't know where is this from
maybe I long to be in your arms
Sadness fills me with nothing but sorrows
emptiness robs me of peace of mind
How I wish a smile I can borrow
Maybe a life of a different kind
Phase 1
Several months back, I started to fix my life. So far my first phase was achieved even though it was not as I planned, but still things are manageable. Still I might be far from my ultimate plan but I'm happy to see progress along the way. Now as I am trying to take on my main plan, my little plans are being tweaked to fit my original plan...
so as of the moment, phase 1 checked... Next...
so as of the moment, phase 1 checked... Next...
Blind - Lifehouse
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
Tired
Business is picking up but clients are becoming too demanding... Been feeling sick since last week, but doesn't have time to rest. Now I am really feeling sick to the Nth power... Will be retiring to bed soon... but will pop in and watch another TV series until I am sleepy...
Hope business will continue like this and still grow... Tired... Too tired but atleast I can say its worth it...
Hope business will continue like this and still grow... Tired... Too tired but atleast I can say its worth it...
Leave This Town
Music was one of the biggest influenced I got from my dad... it became part of my life... I was obsessing with Lifehouse with their wonderful songs then all of a sudden, I saw my sister's blog on Daughtry's new song. Since I have his album months back, I quickly listened to the songs and was captivated. Do not get me wrong, I am a fan since American Idol. So here is my short review and recommended songs... I am a fan of rock stars and definitely Daughtry has a great voice and the songs he released are different in style. Yes they are rock songs, but the approach are very different. In this album, Leave this town, the approach to the songs are still very different in melody, but the lyrics of the songs are still hard hitting and people can easily relate to. Good melody and wonderful lyrics are out of this world combination. Also, there are songs here that are quite slow in tempo and I believe that if a rock star sings a slow song, it would be amazing... (November rain for example) Here are the list of songs in the album Leave This Town
1. You Don't Belong
2. No Surprise
3. Every Time You Turn Around
4. Life After You
5. What I Meant to Say
6. Open Up Your Eyes
7. September
8. Ghost of Me
9. Learn My Lesson
10. Supernatural
11. Tennessee Line
12. Call Your Name
My Top picks would be, Tennessee Line, Life After You, September and No Surprise. Other nice songs are What I Meant to Say, Open Up Your Eyes, Ghost of Me, Supernatural, Learn My Lesson and Call Your Name. I can listen to this album everyday and still feels good. OK maybe not forever, but since most of us can and will be able to relate to his songs... its like he knows what we are going through. I played this album to my brother and friends, after a while they will be singing with me already... Amazing album... 2. No Surprise
3. Every Time You Turn Around
4. Life After You
5. What I Meant to Say
6. Open Up Your Eyes
7. September
8. Ghost of Me
9. Learn My Lesson
10. Supernatural
11. Tennessee Line
12. Call Your Name
Lost of words...
Its been a while since I posted... I have many ideas but I can't seem to express them properly... Focus, focus, focus...
Rain
I thought Friday would be a nice starting point where I can really rest from the misery my client is giving me, but the rain and strong wind is never a good sign... Maybe at some point, I knew that the rain will make me sleep better because it would be colder than usual and I need to prepare for one of my best friend's wedding on Saturday. Saturday morning came and the rain was still pouring like there will be no tomorrow. I continued resting and still figuring out what to wear or how would I manage my long hair (pony tail or not). Suddenly, the first floor of our house was flooded already and the flood outside was trying to get in from our main door.
We quickly took most of the important stuff to the 2nd floor like rice cooker food and other essential items. After a few minutes, we can't even go down because the flood was high and water was coming in from the window. I quickly called my friend because we were supposed to go to our friend's wedding together and we were both stranded because of the flood. We were planning to prepare our clothes and go to one of our friend's house to prepare for the wedding, but as the hour passed, our street was flooded already. I cannot get out anymore and we thought we would missed the wedding, but later on we were informed that the wedding was moved to Monday... poor couple I was really sad for them...
Hours had passed and good thing we still have food to eat here and I am so glad that we have electricity and Internet (though the net is fluctuating as usual). Though we only have enough food for 1 day because we were suppose to buy yesterday. Another thing was that my phones were malfunctioning it was so hard to get a signal.
When I woke up this morning, the rain stopped and the flood subsided. Still our ground floor looks like a dirty pool. The altar and my sister's piano was a big mess (I have not seen it but I am sure about it). We can go out but we need to create some bridges. We can buy food now but still the house is a mess... Hope the flood will subside soon...
Stress
For the past few weeks, I was so busy focusing on an account we had. Not the best client but since we committed to delivery, we need to do everything we can. Our project was so challenging that we need 2 suppliers to finish it. The worst part is that the time line is simple crazy.
So last Sunday, I went to my supplier to pick up some items that our client requested. I wasn't in the mood to go to our client because it is far and to delivery the partial items is another story. While waiting for the train in the MRT in Boni station, I saw two guys on the other side waiting for a train. To my surprise, they did not board the train even if they can. I assumed that they are taking their time to wait for a less crowded train. When our train came, the usual savage attitude of the people of "pushing the person in front of you just to get in" was engaged. I had a good spot near the side of the door. When I looked around, the same two guys from the other side was standing outside our train and I was wondering why. The young man near the door suddenly checked his cellphone and to our surprise, those two son of a bitch was actually not boarding because they are using the situation to swipe things while people were pushing their way in. The phone was retrieved and I was kinda hoping that young man would start a fight for I will surely give those idiots some beating (I wasn't in the mood and I hate those people who will steal from honest people). During our trip going to Shaw, the young man's friend found out that he lost his wallet so when we were in Shaw station, they quickly got out and notified the authorities. I felt so lucky because a few inches would made me the victim and it would surely mess a messed up day.
Upon arriving at my supplier's place, I got the delivery and was on my way to Cubao to drop off the items. I was so tired that I just rode the first bus going to Cubao. I didn't mind if it was an ordinary one over those air conditioned bus. My only motive was to deliver it ASAP and go home and rest. During the trip, the bus stopped I think somewhere in Munoz. Street kids were trying to ride the bus, maybe to ask money from the passengers. The driver asked the kids to leave and it became a little physical. Though no harm was done. One of the street children was mad and he picked up a stone as big as a brick and threw it to our window. It almost hit me in the face and fortunate enough it hit the side of the bus. I would be unconscious if it hit me. Just made me realize that my day is not getting any better.
I hurried home and rested. I continued to analyzed what has just happened and it seems that when we are messed up, sometimes the higher being up there is really helping us not to face more problems. Maybe I was so down and it would really be a kick in my balls if my wallet would be stolen (take note, I only have 100 pesos in my wallet that time) and if I was hit by that stone (my ever demanding client needs those items already and if I was hit, somebody might just steal those items). In the end, maybe I was saved to live to fight another day. True enough, the week is getting more stressful...
So last Sunday, I went to my supplier to pick up some items that our client requested. I wasn't in the mood to go to our client because it is far and to delivery the partial items is another story. While waiting for the train in the MRT in Boni station, I saw two guys on the other side waiting for a train. To my surprise, they did not board the train even if they can. I assumed that they are taking their time to wait for a less crowded train. When our train came, the usual savage attitude of the people of "pushing the person in front of you just to get in" was engaged. I had a good spot near the side of the door. When I looked around, the same two guys from the other side was standing outside our train and I was wondering why. The young man near the door suddenly checked his cellphone and to our surprise, those two son of a bitch was actually not boarding because they are using the situation to swipe things while people were pushing their way in. The phone was retrieved and I was kinda hoping that young man would start a fight for I will surely give those idiots some beating (I wasn't in the mood and I hate those people who will steal from honest people). During our trip going to Shaw, the young man's friend found out that he lost his wallet so when we were in Shaw station, they quickly got out and notified the authorities. I felt so lucky because a few inches would made me the victim and it would surely mess a messed up day.
Upon arriving at my supplier's place, I got the delivery and was on my way to Cubao to drop off the items. I was so tired that I just rode the first bus going to Cubao. I didn't mind if it was an ordinary one over those air conditioned bus. My only motive was to deliver it ASAP and go home and rest. During the trip, the bus stopped I think somewhere in Munoz. Street kids were trying to ride the bus, maybe to ask money from the passengers. The driver asked the kids to leave and it became a little physical. Though no harm was done. One of the street children was mad and he picked up a stone as big as a brick and threw it to our window. It almost hit me in the face and fortunate enough it hit the side of the bus. I would be unconscious if it hit me. Just made me realize that my day is not getting any better.
I hurried home and rested. I continued to analyzed what has just happened and it seems that when we are messed up, sometimes the higher being up there is really helping us not to face more problems. Maybe I was so down and it would really be a kick in my balls if my wallet would be stolen (take note, I only have 100 pesos in my wallet that time) and if I was hit by that stone (my ever demanding client needs those items already and if I was hit, somebody might just steal those items). In the end, maybe I was saved to live to fight another day. True enough, the week is getting more stressful...
Otherside
"Father into your hands, I commend my spirit
Father into your hands, why have you forsaken me?
in your eyes, forsaken me
in your thoughts, forsaken me,
in your heart, forsaken me...
Oh, trust in my, self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die"
-Chop Suey by System of a Down
I feel like leaving this world... sometimes I hope it will all suddenly end... it seems more peaceful on the other side...
The Reason - Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
I love this song and this is the only moment where I think I can really connect with the song... I found my reason, but my reason seems to be slipping away...
Trying
I am trying so hard to be strong yet to you I surrender...
I am trying to be okay yet it is your voice that makes me okay...
I am trying to make you laugh and smile, yet I over did it...
I am trying to stand up yet I know deep inside I can feel the void that you filled...
I am trying to be there for you yet it seems you can do it on your own...
I am trying to say goodbye but I know I love you enough to still hold on...
I am trying to be okay yet it is your voice that makes me okay...
I am trying to make you laugh and smile, yet I over did it...
I am trying to stand up yet I know deep inside I can feel the void that you filled...
I am trying to be there for you yet it seems you can do it on your own...
I am trying to say goodbye but I know I love you enough to still hold on...
Teamwork
Sad to see others who are not familiar with the definition of teamwork. Yes individuals may succeed by themselves but having a team can expedite the process much faster. In the business world, a team of professionals can do more than a single professional doing everything. Leverage is the key... In an organization, if the sales director closes a deal even the finance director gets a portion of it as profit. It irritates me when the mentality of start up business partners are more on "my profit from my clients are mine alone".
That is why there will always be one president, one finance director, one sales and marketing director. Too many cooks will surely spoil the broth.
That is why there will always be one president, one finance director, one sales and marketing director. Too many cooks will surely spoil the broth.
Boys night out
It has been years since I had fun with my "barkada" and just last Saturday, we made a last minute get together. I wasn't really up for it, but 2 of my closest friends called me up. We met at our friends house and to my amazement, its all boys. No girlfriends, no wives, just us. We all had a wonderful dinner while sharing stories and laughter. We didn't spend much time as we wanted but all except 1 was not there. It is a fun and enjoyable night. I am so glad that I went out that night.
Love at first sight
The idea of suddenly falling in love seems to be absurd to others. How can someone really say they love a person by their first meeting? First conversation? First... whatever. We don't. Love is a subjective matter and we cannot really dictate a right way to do this. Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong in love? Loving someone is one of the best feeling we can have in this world.
With this kind of love, it is inevitable for others to question your motives. As long as it makes you happy, do it. We live only once in this world and we should enjoy every second of it.
With this kind of love, it is inevitable for others to question your motives. As long as it makes you happy, do it. We live only once in this world and we should enjoy every second of it.
Lifehouse therapy
For the past few weeks, I have been feeling down. Maybe because of all the things I am facing and the ups and downs of my emotions. During college I also encountered my own dark ages where I question life and my existence. Now, I am also faced with a similar dilemma but quite different.
Maybe one of those who saved me before is also here to help me get through this. Music. That is what helped me get through my past. Though I also have other supporters, but music played a big part on molding who I am now.
I should title this entry as Music Therapy however, I have always been a fan of Lifehouse and they are really helping me cope with my misery now. From the moment they released Hanging by a moment, I became a fan and up to this moment, I am still a fan. Their song style is very calming (to me). The lyrics also make sense.
Try to get hold of the and listen to their tunes. Soothing and makes me calm...
Maybe one of those who saved me before is also here to help me get through this. Music. That is what helped me get through my past. Though I also have other supporters, but music played a big part on molding who I am now.
I should title this entry as Music Therapy however, I have always been a fan of Lifehouse and they are really helping me cope with my misery now. From the moment they released Hanging by a moment, I became a fan and up to this moment, I am still a fan. Their song style is very calming (to me). The lyrics also make sense.
Try to get hold of the and listen to their tunes. Soothing and makes me calm...
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Paranoia
According to Wikipedia
Paranoia is a thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs concerning a perceived threat towards oneself.
Paranoia is like digging your own grave....
Paranoia is a thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs concerning a perceived threat towards oneself.
Paranoia is like digging your own grave....
Broken
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
---Lifehouse
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
---Lifehouse
Catching up
I was about to go home earlier from a visit to La Salle, I saw an old org mate. She was wearing make up and obviously shocked to see someone she knows in the campus. It was for her graduation picture for her MBA and she doesn't wear make up at all. I accompanied her to her errands and had dinner while telling stories about our lives until I need to go home already.
The time we spent was short, but It was nice to catch up on things from both our ends. I was hoping to see her soon for more stories to share. It was really nice seeing a familiar face in a crowd of strangers. :)
The time we spent was short, but It was nice to catch up on things from both our ends. I was hoping to see her soon for more stories to share. It was really nice seeing a familiar face in a crowd of strangers. :)
Emo mode 2
Being in a state of depression maybe be beneficial at some point... it makes us realize things we need to face. We are challenged to be a better person...
However, emotionally it sucks.... I feel like it is draining my life force out of me... Every second I am weaker, every second I feel I am dying, every second I am losing hope... That is every second of my miserable life...
*Was also constructed earlier... the resemblance of the state of mind I am in.
However, emotionally it sucks.... I feel like it is draining my life force out of me... Every second I am weaker, every second I feel I am dying, every second I am losing hope... That is every second of my miserable life...
*Was also constructed earlier... the resemblance of the state of mind I am in.
Emo mode 1
Just as we thought things will be better, life drags us down. Just as we thought we hit rock bottom, life let us realize that we can go down deeper that it feels like an endless pit. When will this stop? I do not really know... I am starting to feel numb from the pain... the numbness that makes me feel like I am dying... maybe it is better to die...
*Constructed earlier when I was waiting for a friend.
*Constructed earlier when I was waiting for a friend.
Lost
How can I still stand
when my reason is there no more
No one to hold my hand
what am i still looking for
the disillusion in reality
the pain in my heart
I am as blind as i can be
my world is falling apart
I tried to face tomorrow
but my reason is gone
succumb into this sorrow
how can I go on
when my reason is there no more
No one to hold my hand
what am i still looking for
the disillusion in reality
the pain in my heart
I am as blind as i can be
my world is falling apart
I tried to face tomorrow
but my reason is gone
succumb into this sorrow
how can I go on
To my sister
Just had a conversation with my sister who is by the way, working in Hong Kong. I do feel I am close to her because we share random thoughts about our family and maybe life in general. Maybe we do have the same wavelength at times.
Anyway, I told her about me blogging and even when I started doing it in my multiply site, she was very supportive. Let me rephrase it, she is very supportive in all of my ideas and plans in my life. during our conversation I asked for her blog site so i can check on her and her thoughts in life. I always admire her writing because I suck at it. She is gifted with words and I am with numbers.
As I was reading her entries i did realize that we are going into depression together. Different case but both of us are quite emo at the moment. I know things will be brighter for us soon for we made it this far in life even when our parents are constantly trying to blame each other while we are striving to have a normal family.
To my sister,
I am always here for you and when you need someone to talk to or someone to amuse you, you know where you can get hold of me. We did manage to get this far in life, and I am sure that the future will be brighter for us. Continue to dream and dream big.
I love you
your brother :)
Anyway, I told her about me blogging and even when I started doing it in my multiply site, she was very supportive. Let me rephrase it, she is very supportive in all of my ideas and plans in my life. during our conversation I asked for her blog site so i can check on her and her thoughts in life. I always admire her writing because I suck at it. She is gifted with words and I am with numbers.
As I was reading her entries i did realize that we are going into depression together. Different case but both of us are quite emo at the moment. I know things will be brighter for us soon for we made it this far in life even when our parents are constantly trying to blame each other while we are striving to have a normal family.
To my sister,
I am always here for you and when you need someone to talk to or someone to amuse you, you know where you can get hold of me. We did manage to get this far in life, and I am sure that the future will be brighter for us. Continue to dream and dream big.
I love you
your brother :)
Happy Birthday
Today is my birthday and yet today seems to feel like just another normal day except for the greetings. Maybe it is just my mood.
Anyway, while I was surfing the net and finishing my blog, I thought of checking anyone famous that are celebrating their birthday today. This kinda made my day seeing a pretty model, a great director, a rock star, a singer, a fantastic actor and a wonderful chef.
This made me smile... Happy Birthday to me :)
Anyway, while I was surfing the net and finishing my blog, I thought of checking anyone famous that are celebrating their birthday today. This kinda made my day seeing a pretty model, a great director, a rock star, a singer, a fantastic actor and a wonderful chef.
Claudia Schiffer
Tim Burton
Elvis Costello
Gene Simmons
Sean Connery
Rachael Ray
Tim Burton
Elvis Costello
Gene Simmons
Sean Connery
Rachael Ray
This made me smile... Happy Birthday to me :)
Crossroad
There will be a time in our life where we will be facing our own crossroads. It is either we stay at our comfort zone or challenge ourselves to take the risk on the other side. The more unknown the path, the higher the risk involved.
There was a time in my life where I did went the other way and took the risk involved. I may not get what I hope to get, but this made me wonder about life more deeply. What made me strong was a poem I read. Here are a few lines from the poem "Road Less Traveled"
There was a time in my life where I did went the other way and took the risk involved. I may not get what I hope to get, but this made me wonder about life more deeply. What made me strong was a poem I read. Here are a few lines from the poem "Road Less Traveled"
ROAD LESS TRAVELED
by Robert Frost
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
In everything that we go through, there will always be roads that we need to choose. Others might be easier while the others will be riskier. rather than focusing on what scares the hell out of you, focus on the positive. Like me, I try to see the reward waiting on the other end. If the reward is more than the risk ,then the risk doesn't seem to matter that much. Currently I am in a crossroad of my life and I am choosing a road quite risky but I know the reward waiting for me on the other side will make my journey worth it
High school Poem
Untitled
Beneath the gate of an open heart
lies a truth that no one takes part
like a child that longs to play
soon everything should find it's way
Questions that are long to be asked
seek that life mysteries be unmasked
not knowing what good and bad may present
is beyond being innocent.
Beneath the gate of an open heart
lies a truth that no one takes part
like a child that longs to play
soon everything should find it's way
Questions that are long to be asked
seek that life mysteries be unmasked
not knowing what good and bad may present
is beyond being innocent.
It was high school and I was thinking of a theme to do. Ever since I am a thinker already. Told him what I wanted to write and my close friend wrote this for me and it has been more than 10 years still I can memorize this poem out.
An Unknown Path
Just recently something happened to me. Like God sending an angel to try to shaken me from my state of being happy-go-lucky. However this time, things are more different. I was shaken to my inner soul that I even questioned my existence in this world. I need to face the reality of things and there are a million and one problems I need to overcome and decisions I need to make. I feel I need to face depression and I need to fight it. The problem is that no one can help me and no one can guide me. What lies ahead is something I know that is better than my current state, something far better, something that is rightfully mine.
Facing depression is never a good thing. I may not come out alive, I may not come out sane, but this is a journey I need to take to correct things, fix my vision and cleanse my soul. The path is dark and the end result is unclear. Still, I need to take that road and face the inevitable. It's not the duel with depression I'm focusing on, but more on the new me when I came out victorious.
Facing depression is never a good thing. I may not come out alive, I may not come out sane, but this is a journey I need to take to correct things, fix my vision and cleanse my soul. The path is dark and the end result is unclear. Still, I need to take that road and face the inevitable. It's not the duel with depression I'm focusing on, but more on the new me when I came out victorious.
Fix me
Sometimes I think I do not make sense at all. On how I think, how I justify things or simply how I live my life. There were instances that I am down and was looking for a hand to pull me up but it was just a false hope. I needed to stand up on my own. It may take me a day, a week, a month, a year, hopefully not a lifetime. I need to stand up not just for me, but for my aspirations and dreams. I am currently fixing myself and it may be true that I really need to detach myself from the world to lessen the influences in my decisions.
I used to to follow quotes from famous people and lines from different songs. They do make sense. Maybe it is time for me to search for guidance from songs again.
Hero complex
While thinking of things on why they happen, a friend told me that I do have a hero complex. Hero complex is defined by wanting to be the knight in shinning armor for a damsel in distress. True to its sense that I do want to be that knight. No other reason but I just want to help a troubled soul. During college, I was also labeled as a knight for damsels. I personally do not see this in a negative sense, because of the reasons I have.
That same friend who told me of my supposed hero complex said that it is an ego booster for guys. Girls tend to fall for those knight and it is very inevitable. This made me think about the subject. Yes I do want to be knight and have fallen for a few damsels. Also, a number of damsels did fell for me but that was never my intention.
My reason started when I was in another depressed state. I am not religious and I do believe in things that only a few understands. The whole religion is very confusing and during my dark days in college, the New Age belief became my ally. Looking at all religions, the teachings boil down to the simplest rule which is to do good. Yes I seldom pray, I seldom go to church, but I try my best to be a good soul. I try to help people around me and it just so happen that I respect women and I am helping a lot of women when they are troubled. Does it boast my ego? Maybe yes and maybe no. I do not ask such thing to myself. All I wanted is to help others so they can still believe that goodness still exist. The idea of a good world is almost extinct. Let us try to revive the idea of a bright world we are in today.
That same friend who told me of my supposed hero complex said that it is an ego booster for guys. Girls tend to fall for those knight and it is very inevitable. This made me think about the subject. Yes I do want to be knight and have fallen for a few damsels. Also, a number of damsels did fell for me but that was never my intention.
My reason started when I was in another depressed state. I am not religious and I do believe in things that only a few understands. The whole religion is very confusing and during my dark days in college, the New Age belief became my ally. Looking at all religions, the teachings boil down to the simplest rule which is to do good. Yes I seldom pray, I seldom go to church, but I try my best to be a good soul. I try to help people around me and it just so happen that I respect women and I am helping a lot of women when they are troubled. Does it boast my ego? Maybe yes and maybe no. I do not ask such thing to myself. All I wanted is to help others so they can still believe that goodness still exist. The idea of a good world is almost extinct. Let us try to revive the idea of a bright world we are in today.
How...
- How can you believe in something that you know is impossible?
- How can you live in a world full of pain yet smile as you walk through?
- How can you bare to hold on to things that are trying to get away?
- How can you manage to stand up after falling millions of time?
- How can you still trust people when you know there are a lot who will betray you?
- How can you see a bright future when you are surrounded in darkness?
- How can you hear lovely melodies when noise and negative news are everywhere?
- How can you feel comfort despite the competitive environment we are currently living in?
- How can you smell the sweet scent of the flowers in a smoke clustered neighborhood?
- How can you taste wonderful food in a world full of chemical and preservatives?
- How can you succeed in a world of crab mentality?
- How can you love when your heart was broken again and again?
- How can you go through a path of uncertainties when you are unsure of what lies ahead?
The simple answer is why...
As long as we have a strong why, the how will follow... Ironic that the answer for these questions is another question. That is what the world really is... A Big irony.
Heroes within us
People are fascinated to see films with magical themes or with supernatural powers like harry potter and heroes. Quite inevitable for people to dream to have abilities that are unique and different. Many wanted to fly, travel through time, walk through water, read minds, have super power strengths, etc etc. The list goes on and we can come up with almost the weirdest idea that can be thought of.
However, I think we do have powers of our own. Some just don't know about them and are really not as exaggerated like those on film. For example, other have a great memory or a photographic memory while others can do calculations in their heads. Others can lift heavy objects or run for hours.
It is believed that our brain usage is around 5-10% only and maximizing it can give us these extraordinary abilities. Science do not have any proof and skeptics will surely disagree. I am a new age believer and what I believe in are a result of my rationalization on what is logical and what is not in this world add the experiences I had and observation on the world. I may be right or I maybe wrong, but the fact is that I believe that strange things do happen.
For one, I know I have a gift. It is my instinct. It helps me mostly when I am in trouble, not physically, but emotionally. Along with it, I do believe that my instinct helps me analyze people when I get a chance to talk to them for only a few minutes. I can "sorta" gauge their personality if their are either good or bad. This isn't a make believe because it happened a lot of times. During my college days, I was tasked to recruit staff member for our organization and I can see through their words. Rather than hearing their words, I can hear their soul. I did have the right choices and those who didn't believed me first, realized it after a few incident when they opposed my suggestions. Also, the next batch of officers asked me to help them in the interview and without papers or names, I just asked them questions other think are inappropriate or irrelevant. It is not about the question, but more of the reasoning that would let you see through them. After a series of interviews, I told them my assessment and they were shocked that I got information more than was presented and other personal ideas.
My "gift " maybe started when I long to study human behaviors when I was in high school thus prompting me to get a Psychology degree. My interest in the human mind and behavior didn't stop. I try my best to interact with different minds and people from all walks of life to know more. Learning how people think, why they do certain things, and how they reason out. There really isn't a right answer, but there will always be a better answer for us.
why I suddenly brought this up? I suddenly started pondering on the idea of such gift. Why do we have these gifts? What is the purpose of it? It was until recently, I realized the real reason behind everything. As Hiro Nakamura should save the cheerleader to save the world, we are also in a mission to save the world. We are now living in a new world where the line between good and bad is diminishing. There are people with bent reality that we need to enlightened. Others who are blinded by the negativity around them and that happiness seems to be a fairytale. Lost souls that need companion, someone to pat their back, someone to hold their hand, someone to hug them in times of trouble, someone to tell them "everything will be okay", or someone to let them feel love.
Crazy as this may sound, I think there is no greater "high" than to help someone to the right track. Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Helen Keller are a few who wanted to not just save the world but to change it into a better place. They used their special abilities to put a bend in reality and try to better this world we live in. Others may still not believe in special abilities. But for me, I will try to save the cheerleader to save the world.
However, I think we do have powers of our own. Some just don't know about them and are really not as exaggerated like those on film. For example, other have a great memory or a photographic memory while others can do calculations in their heads. Others can lift heavy objects or run for hours.
It is believed that our brain usage is around 5-10% only and maximizing it can give us these extraordinary abilities. Science do not have any proof and skeptics will surely disagree. I am a new age believer and what I believe in are a result of my rationalization on what is logical and what is not in this world add the experiences I had and observation on the world. I may be right or I maybe wrong, but the fact is that I believe that strange things do happen.
For one, I know I have a gift. It is my instinct. It helps me mostly when I am in trouble, not physically, but emotionally. Along with it, I do believe that my instinct helps me analyze people when I get a chance to talk to them for only a few minutes. I can "sorta" gauge their personality if their are either good or bad. This isn't a make believe because it happened a lot of times. During my college days, I was tasked to recruit staff member for our organization and I can see through their words. Rather than hearing their words, I can hear their soul. I did have the right choices and those who didn't believed me first, realized it after a few incident when they opposed my suggestions. Also, the next batch of officers asked me to help them in the interview and without papers or names, I just asked them questions other think are inappropriate or irrelevant. It is not about the question, but more of the reasoning that would let you see through them. After a series of interviews, I told them my assessment and they were shocked that I got information more than was presented and other personal ideas.
My "gift " maybe started when I long to study human behaviors when I was in high school thus prompting me to get a Psychology degree. My interest in the human mind and behavior didn't stop. I try my best to interact with different minds and people from all walks of life to know more. Learning how people think, why they do certain things, and how they reason out. There really isn't a right answer, but there will always be a better answer for us.
why I suddenly brought this up? I suddenly started pondering on the idea of such gift. Why do we have these gifts? What is the purpose of it? It was until recently, I realized the real reason behind everything. As Hiro Nakamura should save the cheerleader to save the world, we are also in a mission to save the world. We are now living in a new world where the line between good and bad is diminishing. There are people with bent reality that we need to enlightened. Others who are blinded by the negativity around them and that happiness seems to be a fairytale. Lost souls that need companion, someone to pat their back, someone to hold their hand, someone to hug them in times of trouble, someone to tell them "everything will be okay", or someone to let them feel love.
Crazy as this may sound, I think there is no greater "high" than to help someone to the right track. Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Helen Keller are a few who wanted to not just save the world but to change it into a better place. They used their special abilities to put a bend in reality and try to better this world we live in. Others may still not believe in special abilities. But for me, I will try to save the cheerleader to save the world.
An old poem
Deadly whisper and a borrowed smile
gave me laughter of drought and sorrows
drag me for a single mile
Please don't lead me to the sinful ghost
treat me like a wasted chance
with nothing but a broken heart
longing to be loved for once
but it seems my world falls apart
never did i wished for you
nothing was real except your lies
then I thought you would end my woes
misery and gloom you multiply
still I am here by your side
with uncertainties and a broken smile
never think my love had died
my journey goes on for a million mile
gave me laughter of drought and sorrows
drag me for a single mile
Please don't lead me to the sinful ghost
treat me like a wasted chance
with nothing but a broken heart
longing to be loved for once
but it seems my world falls apart
never did i wished for you
nothing was real except your lies
then I thought you would end my woes
misery and gloom you multiply
still I am here by your side
with uncertainties and a broken smile
never think my love had died
my journey goes on for a million mile
Who We Are
I have been a fan of Lifehouse since the time they released their single Hanging by a Moment. Ever since, I really look out for their songs. With their latest album Who We Are, I was very surprise that I only got hold of a copy not sooner than I can. Their songs are quite melodramatic in lyrics and the melody is quite unique. While listening to this album, I thought of similar sounds (not bad similar, but happy similar or familiar sounds). The familiar tune sounds like a mixture of The Goo Goo Dolls, Coldplay and even Jars of Clay. Not saying that Lifehouse has shifted styles but the familiarity of the melody and tune made me feel good. There are fast alternative songs to the softer ones. I enjoy listening to most of the song. The Album I have is their special release here in the Philippines. Some of my picks are Whatever it Takes, Broken and Easier to be for slower tunes while Disarray and First Time for the faster tempo.
Here's the list of songs in their album
1. Disarray
2. First Time
3. Whatever it Takes
4. Who We Are
5. Broken
6. The Joke
7. Easier to be
8. Make Me Over
9. Mesmerized
10. Bridges
11. Learn You Inside Out
12. Storm
13. Keep The Change
1. Disarray
2. First Time
3. Whatever it Takes
4. Who We Are
5. Broken
6. The Joke
7. Easier to be
8. Make Me Over
9. Mesmerized
10. Bridges
11. Learn You Inside Out
12. Storm
13. Keep The Change
Laugh, Learn, Live and Love
An old entry from my Multiply site, but wanted to transfer most of it here. Anyway, will be editing this blog for updates. Enjoy!
As part of my reflection stage, I was able to come up with a motto to live by. I don't want to assume originality. I came up with it by my collective experiences of the world and knowledge from people around me.
Laugh, Learn, Live and Love.
Laugh - It is a very stressful world and we should laugh as much as we can. Laughter makes us feel better and why worry a lot when we have problems? Even if we frown, they will still be there. Might as well Laugh and smile as much as we can. People who do laugh and smile a lot elicits an aura of positivity and others will notice this. We rarely remembers sad memories but we treasure memories of smiles and laughter.
Learn - Learning doesn't stop after graduation. We need to continue learning for this is one of the things that makes living fun. We are now living in the information age and information is vital. Either in our work or personal. Also, with the Internet within our reach, tons of information are available to us to learn. Learning is a wonderful part of living. Like learning a new hobby, learning a new software, learning to drive a car, learning financial analysis. The possibilities are endless, our mind is the only hindrance. The search for a higher self starts from a curious question we have in mind. That quest to be better is not a simple one. Others climb higher in their journey while others don't. At the end of it all, once you took that journey, you will learn more about yourself, life, and what lies ahead.
Live - We are put to earth to for a reason. We don't just wake up, go to work, then go home to sleep just to start the routine again. I was inspired by a saying I forgot how and where I read it. it says "Live, don't just exist". True and there are a lot of things that we can experience in life why limit ourselves? If you wanted to go to vacation then go. if you dream of doing things even there are risk involved, do it as long as you know the consequences. By the way, I do not encourage wrong doings but what I mean by risks are consequences like giving up certain things, getting out of our comfort zone. The world was created with a lot of beautiful things that should be experienced. Don't just dream of the possibilities. Live your life to the fullest. We only live once.
Love - The greatest feeling in the world. People are made to love and all we really need is love. This may sounds like a cliche, but it is actually true. When we are tired, the simple hug from our love ones makes it much better. Many have loved and lost and was now afraid to love again. They shouldn't shut themselves for loving makes us stronger. Just as muscles are flex to grow, and our brain have mental exercises for it to be sharper, our heart needs loving to grow. Part of losing is learning and loving someone teaches us a lot of things. Even when we failed or when we are having a hard time looking for love, don't stop looking. Maybe if we looked a bit further, the love we are looking for will make the search worthwhile.
Just a few description on each part here but I will add more on my future entries. Currently, I am doing my best to adopt this motto and make it my life. I do hope I shared something useful.
As part of my reflection stage, I was able to come up with a motto to live by. I don't want to assume originality. I came up with it by my collective experiences of the world and knowledge from people around me.
Laugh, Learn, Live and Love.
Laugh - It is a very stressful world and we should laugh as much as we can. Laughter makes us feel better and why worry a lot when we have problems? Even if we frown, they will still be there. Might as well Laugh and smile as much as we can. People who do laugh and smile a lot elicits an aura of positivity and others will notice this. We rarely remembers sad memories but we treasure memories of smiles and laughter.
Learn - Learning doesn't stop after graduation. We need to continue learning for this is one of the things that makes living fun. We are now living in the information age and information is vital. Either in our work or personal. Also, with the Internet within our reach, tons of information are available to us to learn. Learning is a wonderful part of living. Like learning a new hobby, learning a new software, learning to drive a car, learning financial analysis. The possibilities are endless, our mind is the only hindrance. The search for a higher self starts from a curious question we have in mind. That quest to be better is not a simple one. Others climb higher in their journey while others don't. At the end of it all, once you took that journey, you will learn more about yourself, life, and what lies ahead.
Live - We are put to earth to for a reason. We don't just wake up, go to work, then go home to sleep just to start the routine again. I was inspired by a saying I forgot how and where I read it. it says "Live, don't just exist". True and there are a lot of things that we can experience in life why limit ourselves? If you wanted to go to vacation then go. if you dream of doing things even there are risk involved, do it as long as you know the consequences. By the way, I do not encourage wrong doings but what I mean by risks are consequences like giving up certain things, getting out of our comfort zone. The world was created with a lot of beautiful things that should be experienced. Don't just dream of the possibilities. Live your life to the fullest. We only live once.
Love - The greatest feeling in the world. People are made to love and all we really need is love. This may sounds like a cliche, but it is actually true. When we are tired, the simple hug from our love ones makes it much better. Many have loved and lost and was now afraid to love again. They shouldn't shut themselves for loving makes us stronger. Just as muscles are flex to grow, and our brain have mental exercises for it to be sharper, our heart needs loving to grow. Part of losing is learning and loving someone teaches us a lot of things. Even when we failed or when we are having a hard time looking for love, don't stop looking. Maybe if we looked a bit further, the love we are looking for will make the search worthwhile.
Just a few description on each part here but I will add more on my future entries. Currently, I am doing my best to adopt this motto and make it my life. I do hope I shared something useful.
A poem I recently wrote
Untitled
I Woke up today
with a goal in mind
Think that i will say
that everything is fine
a little bit too keen
i was trying to see
What the world had been
and what is instore for me.
Yet nothing quite grand
nothing too special
I know where I stand
but the feeling wasn't mutual
It wasn't about love
It wasn't about money
It's something I want to have
and the day isn't sunny
I may start searching
for something that isn't sad
I Woke up today
with a goal in mind
Think that i will say
that everything is fine
a little bit too keen
i was trying to see
What the world had been
and what is instore for me.
Yet nothing quite grand
nothing too special
I know where I stand
but the feeling wasn't mutual
It wasn't about love
It wasn't about money
It's something I want to have
and the day isn't sunny
I may start searching
for something that isn't sad
I hate this feeling
of a friendship I almost had
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