Rain

I thought Friday would be a nice starting point where I can really rest from the misery my client is giving me, but the rain and strong wind is never a good sign... Maybe at some point, I knew that the rain will make me sleep better because it would be colder than usual and I need to prepare for one of my best friend's wedding on Saturday. Saturday morning came and the rain was still pouring like there will be no tomorrow. I continued resting and still figuring out what to wear or how would I manage my long hair (pony tail or not). Suddenly, the first floor of our house was flooded already and the flood outside was trying to get in from our main door.

We quickly took most of the important stuff to the 2nd floor like rice cooker food and other essential items. After a few minutes, we can't even go down because the flood was high and water was coming in from the window. I quickly called my friend because we were supposed to go to our friend's wedding together and we were both stranded because of the flood. We were planning to prepare our clothes and go to one of our friend's house to prepare for the wedding, but as the hour passed, our street was flooded already. I cannot get out anymore and we thought we would missed the wedding, but later on we were informed that the wedding was moved to Monday... poor couple I was really sad for them...

Hours had passed and good thing we still have food to eat here and I am so glad that we have electricity and Internet (though the net is fluctuating as usual). Though we only have enough food for 1 day because we were suppose to buy yesterday. Another thing was that my phones were malfunctioning it was so hard to get a signal.

When I woke up this morning, the rain stopped and the flood subsided. Still our ground floor looks like a dirty pool. The altar and my sister's piano was a big mess (I have not seen it but I am sure about it). We can go out but we need to create some bridges. We can buy food now but still the house is a mess... Hope the flood will subside soon...

Stress

For the past few weeks, I was so busy focusing on an account we had. Not the best client but since we committed to delivery, we need to do everything we can. Our project was so challenging that we need 2 suppliers to finish it. The worst part is that the time line is simple crazy.

So last Sunday, I went to my supplier to pick up some items that our client requested. I wasn't in the mood to go to our client because it is far and to delivery the partial items is another story. While waiting for the train in the MRT in Boni station, I saw two guys on the other side waiting for a train. To my surprise, they did not board the train even if they can. I assumed that they are taking their time to wait for a less crowded train. When our train came, the usual savage attitude of the people of "pushing the person in front of you just to get in" was engaged. I had a good spot near the side of the door. When I looked around, the same two guys from the other side was standing outside our train and I was wondering why. The young man near the door suddenly checked his cellphone and to our surprise, those two son of a bitch was actually not boarding because they are using the situation to swipe things while people were pushing their way in. The phone was retrieved and I was kinda hoping that young man would start a fight for I will surely give those idiots some beating (I wasn't in the mood and I hate those people who will steal from honest people). During our trip going to Shaw, the young man's friend found out that he lost his wallet so when we were in Shaw station, they quickly got out and notified the authorities. I felt so lucky because a few inches would made me the victim and it would surely mess a messed up day.

Upon arriving at my supplier's place, I got the delivery and was on my way to Cubao to drop off the items. I was so tired that I just rode the first bus going to Cubao. I didn't mind if it was an ordinary one over those air conditioned bus. My only motive was to deliver it ASAP and go home and rest. During the trip, the bus stopped I think somewhere in Munoz. Street kids were trying to ride the bus, maybe to ask money from the passengers. The driver asked the kids to leave and it became a little physical. Though no harm was done. One of the street children was mad and he picked up a stone as big as a brick and threw it to our window. It almost hit me in the face and fortunate enough it hit the side of the bus. I would be unconscious if it hit me. Just made me realize that my day is not getting any better.

I hurried home and rested. I continued to analyzed what has just happened and it seems that when we are messed up, sometimes the higher being up there is really helping us not to face more problems. Maybe I was so down and it would really be a kick in my balls if my wallet would be stolen (take note, I only have 100 pesos in my wallet that time) and if I was hit by that stone (my ever demanding client needs those items already and if I was hit, somebody might just steal those items). In the end, maybe I was saved to live to fight another day. True enough, the week is getting more stressful...

Otherside

"Father into your hands, I commend my spirit
Father into your hands, why have you forsaken me?
in your eyes, forsaken me
in your thoughts, forsaken me,
in your heart, forsaken me...
Oh, trust in my, self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die"

-Chop Suey by System of a Down

I feel like leaving this world... sometimes I hope it will all suddenly end... it seems more peaceful on the other side...

The Reason - Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

I love this song and this is the only moment where I think I can really connect with the song... I found my reason, but my reason seems to be slipping away...

Trying

I am trying so hard to be strong yet to you I surrender...
I am trying to be okay yet it is your voice that makes me okay...
I am trying to make you laugh and smile, yet I over did it...
I am trying to stand up yet I know deep inside I can feel the void that you filled...
I am trying to be there for you yet it seems you can do it on your own...
I am trying to say goodbye but I know I love you enough to still hold on...

Teamwork

Sad to see others who are not familiar with the definition of teamwork. Yes individuals may succeed by themselves but having a team can expedite the process much faster. In the business world, a team of professionals can do more than a single professional doing everything. Leverage is the key... In an organization, if the sales director closes a deal even the finance director gets a portion of it as profit. It irritates me when the mentality of start up business partners are more on "my profit from my clients are mine alone".

That is why there will always be one president, one finance director, one sales and marketing director. Too many cooks will surely spoil the broth.

Boys night out

It has been years since I had fun with my "barkada" and just last Saturday, we made a last minute get together. I wasn't really up for it, but 2 of my closest friends called me up. We met at our friends house and to my amazement, its all boys. No girlfriends, no wives, just us. We all had a wonderful dinner while sharing stories and laughter. We didn't spend much time as we wanted but all except 1 was not there. It is a fun and enjoyable night. I am so glad that I went out that night.

Love at first sight

The idea of suddenly falling in love seems to be absurd to others. How can someone really say they love a person by their first meeting? First conversation? First... whatever. We don't. Love is a subjective matter and we cannot really dictate a right way to do this. Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong in love? Loving someone is one of the best feeling we can have in this world.

With this kind of love, it is inevitable for others to question your motives. As long as it makes you happy, do it. We live only once in this world and we should enjoy every second of it.

Lifehouse therapy

For the past few weeks, I have been feeling down. Maybe because of all the things I am facing and the ups and downs of my emotions. During college I also encountered my own dark ages where I question life and my existence. Now, I am also faced with a similar dilemma but quite different.

Maybe one of those who saved me before is also here to help me get through this. Music. That is what helped me get through my past. Though I also have other supporters, but music played a big part on molding who I am now.

I should title this entry as Music Therapy however, I have always been a fan of Lifehouse and they are really helping me cope with my misery now. From the moment they released Hanging by a moment, I became a fan and up to this moment, I am still a fan. Their song style is very calming (to me). The lyrics also make sense.

Try to get hold of the and listen to their tunes. Soothing and makes me calm...