filled with void...

It sucks when you already let go of something just to find out other parts of you are still holding on. I recently learned something that was supposed to be light yet I am now being suck back to oblivion. I shouldn't feel this way because I was ahead already, but it seems that my shadow was still holding to a past that created a big void in my life.

Currently, I am at a state of uncertainty. I know it shouldn't hurt, but I am hurting. The worst part is that I feel numb but I am hurting. I know it sound so ironic but this is maybe the best description I can think of. To add insult to injury, there was kindness being shown and it was such a puzzle that I can say I am in a dilemma on which I shouldn't be.

Two poems in a matter of minutes. Now that was fucking awesome yet that was also a big ouch.

goodbye 2

my life was tamed with its demise
good as April I will never forget
how the shot was aimed so high
only to see what we should believe
the reality that grows our soul
that victory is with a capital V

fixated on the delusion of an enigma
to find nothing special had grown
still healing from the pain and hurt
then quickly a new troubling dilemma
almost killed by the powerful blitz
slowly turning me into a diablo

goodbye

take me away from this dream I had
heard the whispers of serenity
even my last stroke wasn't at all bad
living my pain in eternity

a penny for your thought
not a single reason in mind
together we make a great team
all is lost on what you brought
zeroed in on what i will find
only owning it in my dream

good bye!